Thursday, March 1, 2012

Andrew Breitbart: Conservative, Tea-Bagger, Screamer - Dead at 43

Its a sad, sad day in the world of Occupy Wall Street. Oh, wait. No its not.

I'm not one to disparage the dead, especially when its someone who deserves my sympathy and prayers for a happier "whatever comes next" than they must have had on Earth. That being said, I certainly hope Andrew Breitbart, political activist, talking-head and overall bigot, finds the peace in death that he never seemed to find in life... or maybe he'll just find a big, cosmic muzzle. He was 43.

A journalist, commenter for The Washington Times, and blogger of his own series of sites, Breitbart made a name for himself by screaming, name calling, and making room for the "Homocons" at various Republican events... that would be GoProud, the hypocritical gay Conservative group that works against basically EVERYTHING progressives and true freedom fighters have fought for over the last 50 years.

Most recently, Breitbart was caught on video screaming at Occupy Wall Street protestors, likening them to "rapists" and calling them "... freaks and animals!". These shenanigans earned him a well-deserved spot in Keith Olberman of Current.Tv's Worst Person In The World segment.. not for the first time, I must add.

In his defense, Breitbart was a Rage-aholic (and quite possibly an alcoholic, but I won't make unfounded accusations) so the idea that he could die at such a tender age of "natural causes" seems slightly more believeable.

 From his blog:
Andrew passed away unexpectedly from natural causes shortly after midnight this morning in Los Angeles. 
We have lost a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a dear friend, a patriot and a happy warrior. 
Andrew lived boldly, so that we more timid souls would dare to live freely and fully, and fight for the fragile liberty he showed us how to love.
My thoughts go out to his wife and children, less for the actual loss and more for the fact they will be reading and hearing nothing but vitriol over the next few days in regards to their dearly departed. It hurts to lose someone, and I hope he finds the peace in the "whatever comes after" life that he was in such short supply of during his actual life.

And now, puppet theatre...

Monday, February 13, 2012

Covered in Santorum: Should Newt Pull Out?

We all know Newt Gingrich is NOT going to be the next presidential nominee. But much like his previous marriages and stint as the Speaker of the House, his campaign is slowly going from full force to full farce. With declining ratings, dwindling support and loss after loss on the campaign trail, Gingrich is slipping to the wayside, where the only thing waiting for him will be his wife Calista and a Tiffany's credit line.

Are these just the ramblings of a hopeful Liberal politiblog? If only it were so simple... The "request" for Newt to go back to his pond comes from the conservative camp, namely The National Review:
Gingrich’s verbal and intellectual talents should make him a resource for any future Republican president. But it would be a grave mistake for the party to make someone with such poor judgment and persistent unpopularity its presidential nominee.
Sounds like someone has been drinking in the Santorum-Aid.

We Tennesseans don't like giving up, and Newt never seemed to be one to do a job half-assed... Unless, of course, you include his entire career.  Will he get a clue and settle for third? Or will he keep trying to "one up" Herman Cain in the "I just can't take the hint" category? If his political strategy is anything like his personal life, third time may be it for Swingrich... unless he's got another mistress in his back pocket.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Reach Out And Touch Someone?

The following is a letter I sent to Senator Stacey Campfield in regards to his recent inflammatory remarks, and about SB049, the "Don't Say Gay" bill.  Should I receive a response, I will post it, but I honestly don't expect much. The man has the emotional capacity of a fig newton and the mental prowess of a plastic cup.

Dear Mr. Campfield,

My name is Patrick Hoffman. I grew up in Knoxville, Tennessee, went to Karns High School, was in marching band, theatre, was a editor and contributor for the school's literary arts magazine, and was voted Most Unique by my graduating class. I am smart, funny, and then, I was surprisingly popular, especially considering I was a gay teenager living in "The Bible Belt" and attending one of the more rural schools in the district.

My life did not come easily, as teasing and bullying were issues that occurred on a nearly daily basis. I was both mentally (and physically) threatened, persecuted and assaulted by students who found my natural femininity and flamboyant nature (traits I had expressed since my very early childhood. Ask my mother) to be a point of ridicule and degradation. I was taunted and tormented, slammed against lockers, pelted with mud, and for an entire school year, was terrified of using the restrooms for fear of possible (completely unwarranted) retribution. For what? For being nothing but myself.

Thankfully, I had an amazing support system. My mother and grandfather went out of their way to meet with teachers, school counselors and principals. I was fortunate enough to have the support of several faculty members who took great pride in making sure all their pupils were treated honorably and fairly by their peers. Without them, I may not be alive today, as suicide seemed to me, like it does to so many teens, a way out, an ultimate answer.

But, I prevailed. I rose above adversity and discrimination, paving the road to my future with the help of my family, friends, and an amazing group of teachers.

Not all are as fortunate. In fact, of the many, MANY gay men and women I know, I am a success story, a tale for the ages, the stuff of legend. I was, and am, blessed to have the strength of so many behind me.

However, with the passage of SB049, the "Don't Say Gay" bill, the very system that helped me through years of adversity will be swept aside and left to crumble, wasting away into nothingness... the very same fate that befalls so many of our nations young people, gay, straight, black, white and everyone in between. I feel it is imperative for someone such as yourself to see beyond what your own personal views and feelings are, and see the truth of the world for what it is; school can be a difficult, trying and sometimes dangerous place as it is, without limiting the functioning support system that teachers like I had are able to provide their students.

Beyond learning about the many gay men and women in American and World History, men and women who have helped define and defy, generation after generation, lies the very real truth that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens suffer mercilessly at the hands of those who seem them as less than human, as targets for attack, as weak and unworthy and "unnatural" aberrations.

And when these attacks are happening in schools, who do you think will stop them? If SB049 passes, the answer is no one. You will have stripped administrators and faculty of the power to step in and stop the senseless abuse LGBT youth suffer at the hands of their peers, and all because they can't say gay. How can these teachers and staff stop a problem if they aren't allowed to even acknowledge it? How? They can't, and this bill will only lead to more heartache and heartbreak for any child that has to suffer because of who they are. It will lead to the suffering of their families, and their friends.

It will lead to more and more suicides that could easily be avoided. And you, and the supporters of SB049 will be the ones to blame.

I urge you... Do NOT push this bill. It will lead no where good.

And before you attempt to argue about sex being taught to kindergartners, or teachers confusing already vulnerable children, I have read all of your sources, and I, like so many, many, MANY others, have found them to be dated, irrelevant and false. None of your sources are scientifically, MORALLY credible, if, ESPECIALLY IF, you believe in equality, and the health and safety of your constituents.

I leave you with this link, an article you might find enlightening, if one such as you can be enlightened, about the danger of bullying and the refusal to acknowledge homosexuality in schools.

Mr. Campfield, the prejudice and bigotry have to end. You can either perpetuate it, or fight against it, and you have to step back and ask yourself... Long after we are gone, when the world is finally at peace and all men and women are viewed equal, what will historians have to say about you and your time? Did you fight for what is right and true and decent, against the bias and hate that pervades our society? Or did you attempt to squelch freedom and put a blindfold and a gag across the face of Lady Liberty?

Where will you stand, Mr. Campfield?

With all due respect,
Patrick Hoffman

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A Barrel Full of Shut The Fuck Up

AWWW, now Bob! You know you can't say gay!
In the days of the internet, one can find just about anything to support a claim. Articles dating back ten, twenty, even fifty years are within a few keystrokes.  So, I'm not surprised that when people make accusations or seek to support a point-of-view, they instantly turn to Google, Yahoo! or Bing, and generally, within the first five pages, find exactly what they are looking for based on their search parameters.

Monday, January 30, 2012

How's That Taste?

Senator Stacey Campfield, Lady in Waiting for The Queen of Bigotdom, got a swift, decisive and, might I say, delicious, taste of what it feels like when you are unfairly discriminated against.  When attempting to sit down to a nice, quiet, post assholery brunch at The Bistro at the Bijou in MY hometown, Knoxville, Tennessee, Campfield's plans where dashed against the rocks of prejudice by the owner, Ms. Martha Boggs, who told him to take his freakshow (not a quote) elsewhere

Following this, an outcry of support among the restaurants Facebook page showed overwhelmingly that Mr. Campfield's brand of ignorance and wing-nut pandering isn't going to get him far in this world.

 For the full story (and the FIRST available online from a news media source) check out The Metropulse.

I'm not one for obvious puns, but Mr. Campfield is stirring up a HUGE pot of trouble, and its going to do nothing but give him heartburn.

UPDATE:  Here's a short video by Michael Patrick of the Knoxville News Sentinal, an interview with Martha Boggs on her motivations behind removal of this douchebag from her establishment.

UPDATE: This story is already making its way around to blogosphere, so check the links below for comments, updates, etc... unless you are just DYING to get them here. :)

From W. Thomas Adkins: Stacey Campfield Denied Service At Knoxville Eatery

From Joe.My.God: Tennessee Cafe Boots Anti-Gay Pol

From Towleroad: TN Senator Stacey Campfield Reportedly Thrown Out of Restaurant Over His Anti-Gay Remarks

From Think Progress: Tennessee Restaurant Throws Out Anti-Gay Lawmaker

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Brightest Crayon In The Shed

Welcome back! Reading a long rant about the idiocy of an elected official can get tiring, even for the person writing it! I had to go stretch my hands... don't ask how.  Now, where was I? Oh yes... ignorance.

Now that I have debunked your sources, lets look at the entire reason you were on Michelangelo Signorile's show: The Don't Say Gay Bill. I figure my best bet at tearing apart your arguments are to examine them one at a time.  Let's begin...

Sharpest Tool In the Crayon Box

The following is an email exchange between my friend Travis and my NON-friend, bigot of the week, Republi-can't Senator of Tennessee, Mrs. Stacey Campfield--wait, what? Its a dude? Oh, my bad... I just assumed because his name was Stacey. Well, there I go. Putting my foot in my mouth. Saying something ignorant because I made a stupid, baseless observation centered around outdated, irrelevant and inaccurate information... Oh well. Moving on--

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Fire, Brimstone and... Please Pass The Nuggets

Everyone knows that fast food is not good for you. I know it. You know it. That fat kid down the street may not know it but his overweight, diabetic mother sure as fuck does. But, does this stop us from eating it? Hell no... I love me a nasty, greasy meal from McDonalds, where I can't even pronounce half the shit that's in whatever the hell it is I'm eating!  That is, until I saw what the McNuggets look like PRE-shaping. If you have not seen this image, I add it for you now...

Yes, I know... It looks like a bubblegum soft-serve intestine, but looks can be deceiving! Its basically a chicken slurry, hundreds of carcasses thrown into a blender and squeezed out like toothpaste. Yeah. It's pretty fucking gross... and THAT, ladies and germs, is what is in a McDonalds chicken product.

So, I ask... why do people still eat this shit? And what's more, why do parents despair so when their children, whom they've feed this garbage for years, end up nearly dead in the hospital from health related issues? Anyone? Anyone?

Take, for instance, this story... A young woman, 17, is admitted to the hospital with breathing complications, and after a series of tests, it is learned she suffers from swollen veins and anemia, caused by... DUN DUN DUN... EATING NOTHING BUT CHICKEN FUCKING NUGGETS FOR NEARLY 15 GOD DAMN YEARS!!! Here's the full story... CLICK.

And, the best part? Her mother cries and cries because her daughter's health is in jeopardy due to her poor parenting decisions. "I'm at my wit's end. I'm praying she can be helped before it's too late.
"It breaks my heart to see her eating those damned nuggets, " she said. Yeah, well, you better start picking up those pieces, cause guess what bitch? That's your fault. You are the parent. You make the rules. Her poor health is your fault.

I'm a little bit over parents who boo-hoo their shit ass skills as role models and guides. No one is going to raise your kid for you.

And BEYOND that insanity... I'm from Tennessee. No, that's not the big reveal. The big reveal is WHY THE FUCK CAN'T THE LEGISLATORS OF MY STATE PULL THEIR COLLECTIVE HEAD OUT OF THEIR COLLECTIVE ASS? Seriously.

Like Mr. Stacey Campfield, the bigoted zealot who pushes more intolerance than a crack dealer does, well... CRACK! He's the tit-bag behind the "Don't Say Gay Bill" that's creeping its way through the Tennessee legislature. Crazy, right? This guy is like the George Jung of hate, fear-mongering and small penises. This guy is "walk through the glass door because you didn't know it was closed" stupid. Check out the full article HERE but below, a few choice samples from his most recent diatribe on Michelangelo Signorile's show... plus my responses.

 Homosexuality in schools: "[Homosexuals] do not naturally reproduce. It has not been proven that it is nature. It happens in nature, but so does beastiality That does not make it right or something we should be teaching in school."

Right, asshole. Of course bestiality happens in nature... BECAUSE ANIMALS FUCK EACH OTHER! We teach that in biology! Christ... this guys a fucking rocket scientist. Listen, Stacey (can I call you Lady Name for kicks? Ok... Lady Name) Listen, Lady Name, homosexuality is as natural a process as you sitting down to pee or putting your finger in your butt. It happens through MANY species, yet we are the only ones who deem it necessary to criminalize it, rail against it, and punish it. The kind of nonsense that happens between us, the most advanced species on the planet (that we know of, or think we are at least) doesn't happen ANYWHERE ELSE! So, really. Which is more natural? Me loving a dude or you picking up a 2000 year old chunk of dead tree and proclaiming gays an abomination under your god? Hmm?

AIDS: "Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community -- it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall.

"My understanding is that it is virtually -- not completely, but virtually -- impossible to contract AIDS through heterosexual sex...very rarely [transmitted]."

OK. I get where you are coming from... You had a bad shared needle experience in college and couldn't handle the two-week wait for your HIV test results, right? It left you scared and insecure... Seriously, you freak? Pick up a fucking book someday, or hell. JUST WATCH A MOVIE, since you probably can't be bother with learning to read and all that... might read something you don't like, you know, like HISTORY.  A breakdown:

AIDS came from monkeys in Africa, yes. But NOT from some gay pilot who flew out, fucked one, this stuck his unsheathed dick in every hole between Germany and Pittsburgh. What we know as AIDS has actually been transmitted for MANY years longer, and probably originated from monkey-to-human blood transfer from a bite or cut. Jeez...

And Lady Name, as far as infection goes, if your wife, girlfriend or local prostitute is as lose as you are narrow-minded, then I'd double bag it, since the rate of increased heterosexual exposure to HIV is higher now than ever. F.Y.I. Someone give this guy the Pat Robertson Crusty Dumbassery Award for Excellence in Service to NO ONE!

Sigh... I should probably stop there, before I burst a blood vessel. The point of today's rant is... KNOW YOUR SHIT! You won't make an ass of yourself on national radio or get fat and die from your poor food choices!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

How Many Eggs Would Jesus Donate?

Easter is a magical holiday. Not ONLY is it the resurrection day of our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ, but its ALSO the day where a massive, anthropomorphic rabbit breaks into peoples' homes and leaves brightly colored eggs and little chocolate versions of itself (occasionally toys) resting inside a basket filled with shreds of paper and plastic! What a day!

Its such a magical day, that it doesn't even fall on the same day (or even month) the same year in a row! It just hops around, much like its demented mascot... the bunny, not Jesus. Jesus never broke into anyone's home, as far as I know... but hey! There are quite a few years missing from his life, so who knows! For all we know, Jesus was in a biker gang (or camels) and had Holy Mary Mother of Me tattooed on his ass.

But, regardless of whether or not you worship the most famous zombie in history, or if you follow the more secular path of scarfing down chocolate rabbit babies squeezed out by their bunny burglar dad/mom (cause we don't really know what sex the Easter Bunny is), you can't deny that Easter is more than a time of worship, and turkey, and presents and... wait. That sounds suspiciously like several other holidays. Eating tons of food, getting things you didn't earn/deserve, paying homage to millenia old symbols of pagan religions (not to mention stories and events that existed LONG before Christianity)... I digress.

Everyone knows that Easter is all about: poor people. That's right. Poor people, and not just ANY poor people, but poor, black urbanites under the age of 18. And when you are a white Christian, NOTHING gives you more reason for the season than delivering carton fulls of plastic eggs to these youngsters, safe in the knowledge that you are giving them the most valuable thing they'll ever have: the love of Jesus H. Christ. Never mind the fact that most of them have no homes, no family, nothing to their names but the clothes on their backs and the memories of watching mom or dad shoot up on the toilet, then gank all the Funyuns for themselves before passing out in a drug-induced stupor. Never mind that they will most likely grow up with little to no education, emotional support system, or role-models to show them the proper way of being a human being. Never mind that many of them will not survive past 18 because they will either be killed by senseless violence, die from disease due to lack of healthcare, or fall into the same trap their parents fell into that put them here in the first place.

So long as they have Jesus, everything is peaches and candy.

And, if you want to give a carton of Zombie Eggs to assist in brainwashing the huddled masses, by all means. Donate! Donate! Donate! Jesus LOVES donations... only don't give them clothes or food or an education... You have to keep them poor, hungry and stupid if you want to keep control. Because the worse thing that could happen is they could grow up and think for themselves, and that just won't do. Will it?