Friday, October 29, 2010

Its A Bird, Its A Plane, Its... Grandma?

God has an amazing sense of humor... Let me rephrase... God has a sick, twisted, dark and demented sense of humor. When we are at our lowest, our highest, or any of the many emotional states in between, he manages to send us dreams and events that flip our entire world upside down.

I am moving three days from the date of this post. I am uprooting my life, packing my few belongings into grey Rubbermaid containers, and questing across vast distances, beginning life anew in the great city of New York. Its already going to be a hard enough journey without small added stresses of everyday life, but God... see, he likes to fuck with my head. I have a very VERY vivid imagination and an active dream life, and God likes to use this to his advantage. Let me elaborate...

For starters, I suppose I should describe my Grandmother. Her name is Helen, she weighs about 300 pounds, has white, poofy hair and rather resembles the drag queen Charlie Brown... Resembles her quite a bit, actually. As a matter of fact, the first time I ever saw Charlie Brown as at the Carousel 2 in Knoxville, Tennessee. I had gone with my two new friends, Tommy (my past and future roommate) and his friend Steve (always friendly but never really my friend, just an acquaintance), and they had prepped me on the fabulousness that was Charlie Brown.

We are standing in the darkened bar, techno music blasting in between show numbers, the crowd of glittered queers pushing against one another, when all of a sudden, the DJ announces "Ladies and Gentlemen! Please give a big Carousel welcome to our special guest for the evening... the amazing CHARLIE...BROWN!" At this point I expected a small, bald, yellow-clad oaf to wander onto the stage, attempt to kick a football, and fall on his ass, much to the drunken delight of the audience. I moved slightly closer. The music began. The curtain parted, and out walks...

GRANDMA?! I was in such shock at the resemblance that I literally fell back into the arms of Tommy and Steve. They asked what was wrong, and I yelled, above the music "Charlie Brown looks JUST like my Grandma!" Of course, they laughed, and didn't believe me... that is, until Tommy joined me at her house for Easter dinner... He took one look, fell back and whispered "Your Grandma looks JUST like Charlie Brown!" I digress...

I've been having nightmares and dreams about moving for the past few nights, and last night was particularly interesting. I was woken at 9:00 a.m. by my mother calling, and I relayed the entire dream to her. I'm pretty sure she hung up because she had pissed herself from laughing so hard and needed some new panties.

I was being dropped off at work by some random older man (I'm thinking he and I had gone on some type of vacation, for whatever reason) and I have about 45 minutes until I have to clock in. It was surprising to me that I was working, especially 11-7, since my last day had been the previous Sunday. Regardless of my reasons, I had a job to do. I went inside the building, which was a cross of my television studio and a local community college... it also had a secret, but that will come.

Once inside, I made my way to the control room, and began my day, working utility, downloading satellite feeds, among other daily duties. Suddenly, I was with my Grandmother, walking through the building, searching for my mother. I had met Grandma in the lobby, and we took the elevator down (and up) to other floors, looking. Eventually, we end up in a sub-floor, which has a very clean, stark design and layout. I direct her to a set of double-doors, and she mistakenly goes to another set, trying to find my mother on her own. I say "No, Grandma. She's through these double doors."

"Well, Patrick, I'm just trying to find your mom," she said, poking around where I knew she had no chance to find her.

We finally make it through the double doors, and are in a very large warehouse. Its been stripped bare. What had once been something, was now nothing. I began having flashes of memory... stark, white walls, with large tiles, computers, people... and my mother. She had been here, and now she wasn't but I had a good idea of why.

"Grandma. Mom was here. This is where they held her, but she's gone now. I don't know where. We need to go, before they come back."

I lead her out of the room, her short heels clicking on the floor. I noticed she was walking funny, kind of weaving back and forth, like a teeter totter. As we approached the exit, she burst through the doors, ran down the flight of stairs outside, pushing through students and leaping, jumping, taking off and flying into the distance. I stared after her in disbelief, then ran back inside... and right into the government agent I knew had done something to both her and my mother.

"What have you done!? Where is she going and what did you do to my mother?" I screamed at him, his face placid, mine a mask of anger and fear.

"We did nothing. We know nothing."

"Bullshit. I know what you did! It was a trap, and you lured us here. You had my mother but you've moved her somewhere else, and you set up some kind of signal that did something to my Grandmother!" I was finally understanding...

"The blood in your family line is very powerful, and your Grandmother's was particularly so. All we did was activate her latent abilities. What happens now is up to her."

At this point, my mother called and I woke up. I guess I'll never know what they had in store for me or my family, but I don't think it was good.

Now I am left with this... the unanswered questions. What does it all mean? What was going to happen? Where was my mother, and how does this all translate into my real life? I think the answers are pretty obvious, but as an overly analytical person, you can see how I would read even more into it... God is such a mean kid sometimes...

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